 
I have been feeling so much stress at work and about everything...mainly is my work...arghz...too much responsibility...too much work load...itz pressing mi hard and making me hard to breathe...i am suffocating...anybody can teach me how to cope with stress?? i seriously need a good lesson on it.....anyway..juz a summary of what i have done since the beginning of October ...
06th October 2006
Today marks the day of graduation of my dear dear from Singapore Flying College...I took leave today just for this special occasion for my dear dear...but i have some very important stuff to settle at work...my boss can actually handle it without my presence...but i dun understand why he insisted me to go back to have a meeting and make decision about an engine...i was so terribly upset by that..obviously i got something impt for mi to do tatz y i took leave...but my boss gave indirect orders and hint that i have to come back to get it settle...i dun wan to shirk my responsibility so i went back unwillingly...i wake up in the morning and asked if Mark wanna go breakfast with mi...he wake up and start checking his email and made calls...obviously something cropped up at work and he was in a bad mood...u can tell his mood by just looking at him..so i knew he was not feeling good...we went for breakfast and during breakfast, we didnt talk...i noe he was in bad mood but he didnt wanna say anything...he wanted to wait for cab for mi..but then i told him to just go home and do his things...then he say nvm since he got nothing to do anyway...but i insisted him to go home..then he raised his voice and asked mi whatz wrong with mi...i was angry becoz i dunno why he has to raise his voice...we didnt talk and i got into a cab to go back to office...i was damn pissed off....having to go back office is bad enuff and he has to shout at mi like tat...arghz... =(
i went back office and stomped into my cubicle...my colleagues were shocked to see mi as they knew i was on leave...i explained to them and they agree my boss was unreasonable...arghz...i couldnt solve my problem even when i am back in office...i skipped lunch and waited for another manager to come back so that i could discuss the issue with him...at 2 pm, i finally got part of the issue settled and quickly left the office before anyone could get mi...
i went home changed...borrowed my sis LV bag to match my attire..i was early..supposed to meet Mark there first...then i called him and we chatted...saw old frens from Brisbane..Yichern, Faizal,william and kiat..bobby as well...this is the 60th Graduation ceremony with 61 cadet pilots passing out...Mark says it wasnt impt since he has already got his commercial pilot licence...i was happy for him too...though i was nt with him throughout his 2 years training...i am glad he made it...Jace came as well and i saw cynthia with Ivy...so i sat together with cynthia...then we were seated for ceremony to commence...before this ceremony, mark told his mum about this graduation and told her that she doesnt have to come  coz he has already asked mi to go...he tried explaining that it wasnt impt..but i guess i could feel his mum's disappointment... i mean itz a once in a lifetime issue...but i guess my dear wasnt sensitive enuff to realise that his mum was sad...i wanna take more pics to show his mum..in the end, my camera was out of batt...i used cynthia's camera and it was very badly taken...i was very very upset.....i wanted to take good pictures of mark...i cant even do a simple thing properly...though mark didnt say anything.he said itz alright....but i felt upset and sorry.....so angry...after the wing presentation, then we proceeded for some refreshments and left after the dinner...
Mark and mi met Geena after the ceremony...we had coffee at Yio Chu Kang and he was telling mi abt his job and that citibank is making offer to hire...personal banking? am i up to it? the job has put myself down so much that i started to doubt my own capability...anyway, mark consoled mi and said i did a good job...coz my auditors were so happy with mi...oh yah..Jean and Jackson sent  mi presents from France...so sweet of them!! They sent mi some sweet and salty stuff made in France..a French CD named Sex,Sea and Sun...a red striped blouse and few souvenirs from Turbomeca....so nice of them! i felt like i was opening my Christmas present in advance...haha ..
07th October 2006
There was a showroom up for viewing for a DBSS (Design, Build, Sell Scheme) HDB housing in Tampines...Mark likes the area because itz near to my  parents place...he has been very nice and considerate..i wonder if i should be happy about it...by right, a guy is dead serious about u if he wanna get a house with u...i mean tatz tantamount to marriage..but i dunno...i am stressed and confused...i am confused becoz i am unsure of his intention of buying a house...does this means that he is proposing to mi? i dun wan a proposal so soon when he has nt made a proper visit to my parents and when we are only 6 months old in the relationship...a lot of questions come to my mind actually...has he already identified mi as one he can spend his whole life with? can he come to terms with who i am and my character and accept mi for who i am? has he asked if i am the one for him and likewise, he is the one for mi??? to mi, my partner must be one who listens, shares my weals and woes...cares and loves mi....truthful and faithful and supportive..he has got 90% of it...i haven come to terms to really accept him for who he is...i wan more time to noe and understand him better...marriage is a life time contract..i dun wan to end up with a divorce when i am rushing things just to get a house and a wedding ring or a marriage certificate.....am i thinking too much?? i am stressed becoz he wants his parents to live with us...i dunno...itz not that his parents are not nice..they are in fact very nice people...but i am scared...i have seen alot of cases where mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws just simply dun get along after marriage...i might be selfish..but i wan a love nest of my own...having parents around means i might have to surrender my freedom...i cant wear what i wan at home...do my little stuff at home or even getting intimate with my husband at home...he doesnt understand that living together and getting along are two different issues...i am stressed at work...and now i am facing more pressure about this..i wun keep mum about it...i wanna have an open talk with my dear and hopes he understand my position...i am afraid this is putting a strain on our young relationship....i am sort of cohabitating with Mark..my mum noes that...i explain that i need time to stay with this person...coz i have sort of want him and identify him as my future spouse ....i wan to live with him and get used to his habits and see if we can really get along....since i have been staying at Mark's place...itz like i spend so much time with him that i seldom contact my frens....i missed ginny, june and kailing...but anyway, they are also busy...why do i only have 24 hours....i wished i have more time..more time to spend at work..i wanna focused on my career...still learning how to handle work stress and now must learn to handle domestic stress if i stay wit his parents...i dunno...there are still so much things i wan to do..i wanna settle down with mark...but now is probably not the right time...i dunno..i am lost....
Just went out with Nelson, my good friend and his other friend Ryan...Ryan was surprised as in why i could maintain platonic friendship with Nelson for 6 years without falling in love for each other...actually. itz simple...coz i noe how to differentiate my frens and my dear...i have alot of nice boy friends...like Sze Kiat,Choon kit, Wei Xing, Aik Boon, Nelson, Derrick and Eric,Benson..the name list just goes on...though i have less time for them now...i hope they noe that we are good buddies and i will nv forget them.....they are always on my mind...good buddies are for life!!!must find time for them soon.....We went to Muthu Curry at Suntec City for Fish head curry...Nelson's treat...haha...yummy...then we went to Somerset Hongkong Cafe....We had Fried Wanton, Po Lo Butter Bun and desserts.....yummy.... haha alot of crap talk and jokes...talked about the past and our present....that was really nice for a weekend chill out..!!
I am a simple person,fun loving and hope to live happily everyday and every single moment... 
I Like Freedom... 
I Hate Hypocrites!! Stay Away from me!!
I always believed that we live our lives to fulfill our dreams and to seek the person we love most on earth and be together forever..
just like Altair and Vega..
I seek for true love on earth but kind of disappointed with this journey as true love seems non-existent... 
Everyone of us should live with Dreams..
Itz our Dreams that make us different from all Other Living Creatures..
Itz Our Dreams that Make Our Lives Meaningful and fulfuilled...
Start Your Imagination Wild now..Because Dreaming is Free!
Dare to Dream, Dare To Fail..
Live Your Life The Way You Want It Because It is Your Life ..
We Live Once so Live it To The Max! 
.:. My Likes .:.
I Like My Life...
I Like The Seas and Oceans...
I Like BMWs and AirBus 380...
Most Importantly, I Love My family and my close friends who have supported me always ..Never giving me up and be my listeners..
.:. My Hates .:. 
I Hate Lecherous Guys!! Be Sorry if you are disrespectful to Gals in front of Me!!
I Hate Brinjals and Cabbages!!
I Hate Flying Cockroaches!! 
I Hate Myself Without Dreams and Be Negative!! 
*May 2005
*June 2005
*July 2005